Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What is it that make it so hard to talk to each other? How to break down the emotional wall?

Communication is an activity or process of expressing ideas and feelings, or of giving people information. Sometimes, this activity can be extremely tough. We may find that the person we talk to interpret the matter wrongly or we cannot get they are talking about. Is it our fault not to understand what others intend to tell us or we are not good enough to express our thought?

In love, we say “NO” to age as a boundary stopping two persons to get into a relationship. However, in interaction and communication, we may not be surprise that we only feel comfortable talking to people of our age. This is an undeniable fact! Different generations share different stories as they experience different things. It is so hard for the young to explain what a computer or an i-pod is to the older generation. At the same time, we cannot understand the stories of the Second World War from our grandparents. In the short story “A Thousand Years of Good Prayer”, the main character, Mr Shi can communicate with Madam who is almost the same age as him even though they don’t share the same language. The only thing in common among them is their age and they experience the same family dilemma. They are able to understand each other based on the tone and the body language but their children can’t understand them although they share the same genetic.

I really don’t like to talk to my grandma. I rarely respond even though she is so enthusiastic in explaining some “do and don’t” to live a happy life. She thinks that all her way should be followed closely by me just because she has more experience in life. However, to me, I am perfectly capable of handling my own life. Same thing happens to Mr. Shi as well. He tries to advise her daughter to live a happy life but her respond is “I am perfectly fine!” Communication is a process of expressing something to another party but it is hard when the other party doesn’t seem to “co-operate”.

The reluctance of talking can be as simple as you don’t the others to find out something you have hid deep in your heart just to protect your dignity. Mr. Shi doesn’t explain his demotion to his family since he wants to defend his own dignity in front of his wife and daughter. However, this eventually brings to the misunderstanding of his daughter until their relationship worsens.

The fear of offending others makes us difficult to communicate as well. We are going to lose our confidence in communication if we happen to offend others all the while although we have tried our very best not to do so. Eventually, we just keep our mouth shut to prevent unnecessary stuff from happening. Maybe living in silence is not a bad idea to live our lives as what Mr. Shi’s daughter tells him in the beginning of the stories. Telepathy is very creative as well!

For me, the only way to make communication easier and less harsh is to be more considerate and understanding. We try to put ourselves into each other’s shoes before we come out with something. With this, the possibility to offend others can be reduced. Meanwhile, we must be observant in communication. If you feel that somebody is not comfortable to what you are talking, you should just end the conversation and try to ask his or her opinion. Some people are quiet in nature and some people are the other way round. So, we may switch our roles in some occasion. The talkative or the one good at expressing ideas can be a listener and vice versa.

Communication is a way for us to understand others better. If not, why does God create a mouth for us? So, please use your mouth wisely in every communication so that this activity will neither hard nor harmful.

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